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Thursday, March 27, 2008
today is a low low low day. as usual. i cant explain what's wrong with me recently. i feel so empty that i may explode. sometimes in class i just feel like screaming and shouting and crying. everything's stressing me. that includes NCC. i think i know why i fear ORD. i'm afraid that i'll end up stepping down without any accomplishment, without anything to be proud of, without cadets that i'll be proud of, without them being proud of me and become a disappointment to those who "expect me to do better than this". i took over with alot of confidence. i told myself that even though i didnt get the post i wanted, i'm gonna do well, i'm gonna achieve alot more than i can imagine. but now i look at my cadets, i look at how people look at them, i feel ashamed of myself. i've always thought that cadets arent performing because they have NCOs that suck. GREAT. now i've become one of them. i dont want to. that's why i'm not punishing anyone. it's all my fault. and back to my life. my results are suffering like oh my god. even though it has been improving since the start of this year, it's still screwed. just SCREWED. teachers just like to GL me. i have to learn to meet deadlines, learn not to fall asleep during lessons learn to listen to teachers in class, learn to do my homework, and learn to copy down notes in class. which i never ever did before. cant they just see that i'm really trying to change? it just sucks. everything sucks. my life is so screwed.
someone, just take it if you like it.

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Am IJust Who
My name is Corrine and I dont think I really know who I am anymore. This is my blog, and maybe from here you'll find that I'm not exactly like the Corrine you used to think you knew.

I CuddleThings
New shoes. New bags. New slippers. New handphone. New clothes. Good grades. Sleep. Food. My bolster. NCCG IS DA LOVEEE!

ParadeRubbish
Studying. Hunger. Penniless. Sleepy.

A LineDropped
Me
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